I’ve been so busy that I haven’t even noticed November is here and I’m starting to feel a bit scatter-brained. More scatter-brained than usual. Had Maxxiebear’s 3rd birthday with a big carnival. It was Barbie Mariposa this time (will post pics soon). And thirty days after her birthday will be the Sumo’s 1st birthday. Can you just believe that. I’d be perfectly happy for her to stay bite size for a while.
The Sumobear now wears Medium diapers which makes me feel a little bit sad. How could this happen so fast? I love nibbling cute little baby toes. It feels like yesterday Maia was so tiny. I look at her Ate Max, running around like a tornado. Then I look back at Maia and then she’s back to tiny again. I used to think people with gazillion kids were crazy. But I get it now. It is that obsession to that cutie-tiny-ness phase that makes you want another baby so bad. It’s no problem though – since the Sumo is still breastfeeding, she’d get the left side while baby number three gets the right side. See I’m a rockstar!
Maia has outgrown her 0-3 months. Her 6-9 months. And while packing away those clothes it reminds me that babies would soon become walking humans with minds of their own or become their own rockstar. Insane. I now define insanity as feeling bad for the clothes that get outgrown. As if the clothes have feelings. Packing away my daughters’ clothes sort of become sentimental to me, like I have to give each piece a moment of reverence before deciding if it stays (for the next baby or the next niece). Yes, to a dress. I’m saying this to a dress. I don’t remember the Bear growing out of her newborn clothes and diapers this fast. Then again, I don’t remember much of her babyhood or her first year or second year either. But I do remember the one she is right now… how she falls in love with the water over and over again.
I am just amped about my second-born. Looking at your second-born just reminds you that they will never stay babies forever. Second-borns are different. With my first-born, I couldn’t wait for Max to communicate with me verbally, for her to crawl, to walk, to grow into the cute purple baby havs that Ninang Bianx gave. I love and adore her but I was so nervous about everything. I didn’t have a mother to give me the basics (well of course the winner flags still belong to my two supers, momma-in-law and stepnana, they are cool as ice) so first born was more of by the book than instinct. Eventually I got tired of searching table of contents and figured, watdahell. So with my second born, everything was smooth because I’ve already sucked up experience and wisdom with a big straw.
A lot of people tell me that Max is growing up to look like me. Ya I see flashes of me in her sometimes. It’s exhilarating, yet frightening. I wonder if Maia would be the same. I think I want a total of three clones. I’d definitely like to have another baby and experience that same time warp all over again. Everyone asks when the next one would be and I say god, I’d LOVE to have a baby asap but the problem is they grow up! I would have a baby farm if I could.
I miss a baby sleeping on my chest. Last night while the kids were sleeping I tried putting Max on my chest and I felt like dying, I was gasping for air, gahd is she really this heavy now? Then I put Maia on my chest then she started to cry a little and wiggle back to her warm spot on the bed, short of saying lady just let me sleep for godsakesss. Then I looked at our three overweight dogs with cheeks dangling, who were watching the whole scenario puppy-eyed (I’m getting a heart attack from too much cute here, seriously), who seemed to understand what I was going through and were willing participants on the chest-stunt thingy. Sigh. Now I’m thinking of getting a puppy.
Kids are like clutching invisible clocks in their quickly growing hands. Like sands of time shifting through the fingers. Like runaway trains that never come back. It is just impossible to escape clichés when talking about them.
